1) Voices that are “negative” – They say what you disagree with them in the moment, and that is their goal, not the world. This type of voice is often associated with the “I disagree” or “I disagree with you” voice, or with those who are constantly arguing, who are always the “harsh ones.”
2) Voices that are “positive” – They say what you agree with them, and they want to help you get things done, but they don’t want to win or control what you do. This type of voice is often associated with the “I agree” or “I agree with you” voice, or with those who are constantly arguing, who are always the “non-idea” people.
A third type is called the “positive” or “diligent” voice. You will need to find out what the other is trying to do, and then be on board. It’s not about making it easy, but about helping, not controlling. Often times these voices tell you not to do anything.
If I could choose a voice type, I’d go with “desirable” in two ways. The first, and most obvious, is that most people like to have the “positive” voice. If this is true, it shouldn’t surprise you. Just try talking to people you find undesirable and ask them to stop if they’re doing anything you don’t want to.
The second reason this voice type is desirable is because these people, who don’t have to worry about winning your trust any time soon, are usually people who are easy to work with. It is important to remember that there doesn’t have to be someone on your team who you can’t work with. They can be someone you can work with, but who does not need your assistance. For people who don’t have to say to help yourself, these are the kinds of people who usually get the most work done.
The fourth sort of voice is called the “nice” voice. These people are always nice, but they rarely have to say anything, because they know that you and they will get along just fine in the long run.
These are the kinds of voices you may be hearing in therapy when you are working with children who have been traumatised by sexual abuse, or a child being treated for a long illness. They are the voices that say “we’re on our way, I promise.” Even the “we won’t say anything”
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